Shame on Xtra....

Canada's gay newspaper is no longer capable of any interesting thought - so they have to resort to being crude....

Maybe Toronto City Councillor Rob Ford just needs to take it up the butt. And I'd love to be the one to give it to him.

Introduction to the sublime, transformative pleasures of receptive anal intercourse might be just the thing to allow Ford to "open up" and move beyond the miserly ideology of fear and insularity that's characterized his tenure since first rising to power in Etobicoke in 2000.

Some might consider teaching Ford how to be a back-door man a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. And I'm happy to volunteer — both for my own personal interest and for the broader public good.

Deflowering husky-sized guys is actually a personal specialty of mine. I know how to put their minds — and butts — at ease. I think I'm the kind of man Ford could relate to — I'm around the same age, and we've both got the same over-the-hill, ex-jock look going on. And, while my endowment has certainly received compliments, I'm no pornstar — so nobody's going to get hurt.

Admittedly intimacy with another man might be a bit too advanced for Ford, an avowed heterosexual. But there's still hope. Ford's wife could certainly do the deed herself. By now we've all likely heard about the increasingly popular phenomenon of "pegging" — women harnessing the power of strap-ons to penetrate their men folk. After all there's nothing intrinsically gay about taking it up the butt.

Many men experience a sense of dirtiness and shame about their assholes. Some of us even experience that same uneasy, awkward guilt about being an asshole. After his boozy tirade from the stands of the Air Canada Centre, Ford admitted that his behaviour stemmed from "personal problems." Indeed.

It's time for some emotional honesty, Rob. You've admitted there's a problem. Now change can only "come from within." Let me help you get started.