Bali, humbug!

It seems more and more commentators are seeing Bali for what it is....a total waste of time and money...

I accept that global warming is under way, and that it is probably caused by nefarious man-made activities, such as sex before marriage, singing Christmas carols out of season, and pub darts.

But nothing that mankind is currently doing is going to actually reduce overall CO2 levels, whether or not the UN pays its delegates to gather in the Barents seaport of Grimgrbrivosk, distinguished by its mountain of festering walrus carcasses (unlikely), or the Pacific resort of Edenia Mamalia, whose miles of golden beaches are festooned with tanned, supple buttocks and sturdy brown nipples (next time). Now, UN delegates are human. They want to enjoy themselves like the rest of us, and they're able to do so at the expense of the taxpayers of the world.

That's fine. And I don't even mind that their air-trips to Bali will generate 100,000 tons of extra CO2, or that 90 delegates from the EU are attending, even though they will have no official role, since every member country is already sending armies of delegates to compare carbon-footprints and nipple-counts.

No, what I care about is the moral smog of humbug that gathers downwind of such gatherings.

Over the next few days, we'll hear the sanctimonious clucking from Bali of various politicians and environmental journalists, all repeating the same message.

They could all have gone online and learnt and said the same things, at no cost to the environment, or to the taxpayers. But simple communication of opinions or of fact is not the primary purpose of conferences such as Bali.

They are religious congresses, like Vatican II, where the pious and zealous can commune, and listen to their various bishops, like Al Gore, prate and preach.

Never mind that Al Gore's home emits 40 times more carbon dioxide than the average American home. Consistency, either intellectual or moral, is not the underlying requirement of any religion.

Did not the medieval faithful obediently attend to sermons on the virtues of poverty from one bejewelled Medici pope after another? Did they not remain loyal to the one true religion after the Medicis returned to their courts of plump catemites and voluptuous harlots who could conjure warm liquids from the cold depths of a marble catafalque?

What is really unbearable about the entire eco-piety movement is the systematic denial of central truths. Throughout the entire history of the environmentalism, carbon dioxide emissions have continued to rise, to possibly fatal levels for the world.

If the Alps are melting, as they are said to be, then surely action is needed urgently. Yet there is no serious proposal to drive down existing levels of carbon dioxide, rapidly and soon, simply because to do so would cause a global economic collapse.

Moreover, we know, we just know, that the Chinese and the Indians and the Brazilians are determined to make themselves into major world powers.

They are not going to sacrifice their certain futures for the possibly worthless little green gods of environmentalism. For what if global warming is caused by the sun, and not us?

No matter. See you at Edenia Mamalia, next time